Are you enjoying POF?
Well frankly, no.
(Scroll down to catfish picture for explanation of why I’ve joined another dating site and no I have not fallen off the Tinder wagon)
First off the arduous task of filling in a profile about this size of a university essay with deep probing questions ranging from whether you want children (not from POF thanks…) to how you would describe your personality with prescribed choices such as animal lover or sapiophile (I decided to be pretentious and put that one down)
Indeed as I filled in not one, but two personality and chemistry sets, I sighed with nostalgia for the easy swipeability of the summer.
No, we are not in Tinderland anymore, Toto.
Here are the problems with Plenty of Fish:
Boring and time-consuming – Between the chemistry tests and the complicated messaging service, I feel POF would be better off calling itself Plenty of Faff. It has removed the fun from dating apps that I had previously experienced. This is beneficial for the rest of my life and productivity, but ranks it lowly for dating potential!
Even the name Plenty of Fish is uninspired. It suggests that yes, there are lots of people out there for you. But it also kind of hints at desperation, settling or a vaguely vanilla reassurance that you will find someone. It, unromantically, reminds us that it is just a numbers game, so you are bound to. As much as I hate to admit it, it just doesn’t have the spark of fiery Tinder.
The anti-tinder After speaking to a guy without looking at his profile (rookie error) for a substantial amount of time, he mentions how important it is to be upfront with people. I agree and wonder what he’s getting at… He goes on to complain to me on how the last girl he met on POF, used him for sex. After several dates and for several weeks, which sounded more like a fling than using to me. As my male housemate said “cry me a river”… I mean is this what POF is for? I may have despaired of the slutty male population of Tinder but really, moaning to girls you don’t know about how you’ve been used for sex on an online dating app. BAH.
I guess I should have realised when POF insisted (as in wouldn’t let me have an account until…) I chose an intention from dating, wanting a relationship, actively seeking a relationship (i.e. fishing?!?) and something about marriage which I nervously and quickly put out of my mind.
When I did look at the very serious guy’s profile, I found out he was tee-total, started university at 14 (?!?) and had stated his intentions very clearly at several points in his page NO TIMEWASTERS written in capital letters. Like Alice on her trip to Wonderland, this is when I started to pinch myself, please, wake up.
The top prospects– Alongside a whole bunch of other buttons that I don’t understand, the POF app has a feature called “Top prospects”. Apparently these are my most likely potential mandates. In theory this is all well and good, possibly scientific based on those ridiculous chemistry tests (man, it’s like school). But the term prospects just seems a tad too Austen-esque. Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge fan of Jane Austen but it seems to assume that us, fishes (? better than tinderellas) are looking for marriage, which again is a very scary prospect and one that makes me think this website is not for me or anyone with a sense of humour :P.
Questioning myself – The only experience I’ve had of online dating,the TSOT, has clearly had an impact, seeings as on POF I feel exceptionally shallow for even mentioning looks or suggesting, heaven forbid, actually meeting up. Like the anti-tinder guy who asked me about measurements but was actually talking about measurements….(something to do with some furniture…He did not have great chat)
Tinder has sullied my mind, and I will forever associate online dating with sex pests and perverts…
Tinder promise- POF may miss the obvious shallow, sex-driven audience of Tinder but I did see a hint of it. During my four days “fishing” (cringe), I had five messages from gym-fanatics, with their abs out and names like “brown sugar” and “sweet as chocolate”. Needless to say, I didn’t reply and it put me off the Crunchie I’d been eating…
Literally plenty of fish- My main issue with POF is that anyone can message you. Like the 40 year old, who said I was far too young for him, so not to be scared, but he wanted to ask me about tips on where to go out in Bristol. Creepy and it means your POF inbox will have more spam than that old hotmail profile you have yet to delete. There is such a thing as overfishing…
The reason for this abhorrent experience was a social experiment. I was intrigued by the amount of blogs and media coverage I’ve read on catfishes. Clearly a danger in online dating, is this person going to be who they say they are? Are they a middle aged man, are they a serial killer or a middle aged serial killer…? All sensible questions.
I wanted to see how easy it would be to fake a profile so that was my initial experiment. Then I decided that I was too nice to be a catfish and some of the guys seemed pretty genuine so I stuck with my original details…with one problem, I’d signed up with a different name. This is an issue. An issue that I will be facing tomorrow. (More details to follow…unless it is too awful or too dull for blogging!)
If Tinder is the red light district of online dating then POF is the local library at closing time.
That place where everyone is looking for something and at least they aren’t all sex pests but if you’ve ever been to your local library, you will know it’s definitely not somewhere to look for dates.
Even with the catfish protection of my lovely fake name, I think it’s time to delete the user unfriendly, super serious POF…I can’t even bring myself to date one of these guys for blogging sake, and that’s saying something.
Oh well… plenty more dating sites in the net…