Fair is foul, and foul is fair

I was teaching about witchcraft in the 17th century earlier, and we decided I would definitely be accused of witchy shenanigans as I am such a big fan of cats. So apparently I am a witch already, thank god they don’t know about my dabble in Wicca, during my early teens.

Familiar or not, I certainly am on the right road to cat-lady-dom.

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Despite being compared to a witch, there are some perks to being single and I suppose, in a relationship, there are also some good things.
So despite that old adage, the grass is not always greener, here are the pros on whichever your facebook status…(Except if it’s complicated, you drama queen)

SINGLEDOM

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As my single friend just said “You actually enjoy going out”

From the kebab (no one who has a post-night kebab is having sex), to the crazy dancing and the outrageous secondary school style snogging, nothing can beat a good night out, when single, and with friends.

(let’s not mention those nights where all your friends hook up with other people and you are left downing tequilas with whoever will continue to dance/hold you up)

“Doing what you want when you want”

Freedom. Liberte. Diva-like demands? Yes you can buy those shoes, no judgement (except from your bank balance).

It’s not just about being an independent woman (thanks DC)/ man but it’s the luxury of lying in your pyjamas until 3 in the afternoon eating left over curry and ice cream.

No partner wants to see that but you often want to do just that.

Screw it, you moved out of home years ago, you shouldn’t still be being told off.

Embrace the freedom my friend.

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WWBD? Eat pizza obviously. (adoring husband NOT necessary)

Not shaving your legs.

When I asked my girl friends what they liked most about being single, they all unanimously said “stopping shaving”. That’s right, I mean we could call it feminism and burn-a-bra, but if we were honest, really, no-one wants to have sex with yeti-like legs.

Shaving or waxing or laser or that crazy threading which looks like a year 10 textiles project gone wrong… all are either painful, time-consuming or expensive. So let’s just stop it. I mean initially it is a little bit like having hedgehogs under your jeans but eventually (if you are single long enough) you may be lucky and get quite the coat going on.

Singledom is not about letting yourself go but if it’s winter and you are single, enjoy that extra warm layer of hair. I dare you.

Sleeping on your own.

This one wasn’t a common answer. But I abhor sleeping with someone else. It’s like sleeping in a tent, you are never going to sleep as well and for some reason you always have bed-hair. (My bed respects my hair obviously)

From temperature control to snoring to the alarm clock dilemma. (apparently mine sounds like some kind of “carni-alarm” but I cannot wake up to such pleasant musicality)

No ties.

Sorry Christian Grey… but ties and all such restrictive equipment out the window.

No I am not saying you cannot re-enact the snorefest that is 50 shades when single (although that bondage stuff will definitely be a challenge alone- it’d probably be like yoga but funnier) but by no ties I mean no responsibility. Want to go off travelling for a few months? Easy. Want to encourage that ever-so-slightly too friendly guy who used to do your homework and now regularly facebooks for a “chat”? Probably not advisable but you can. Sometimes it’s nice to have no obligations whatsoever.

Unadulterated flirting.

I can’t do sports, I rarely cook without burning something and I have few to no hobbies (social media doesn’t count) but flirting, I excel at. It just comes naturally to me. And I.love.it.

And you always, as a single girl, need a few regular people to flirt with. I always flirt with moody-hipster housemate for example and sometimes with his friends, to mixed results :P.

It is without a doubt the worst thing about getting in a r-ship, because flirting suddenly means something and  guilt infiltrates making the fun vanish.

Having been single for nearly a year now, I feel I have embraced the single life fairly well. I have been through tinder-rehab, dated everyone from a comedian to a doctor to a student. I have pretty much written off every man this side of the river. I have explained patiently to several elderly relatives why I am perfectly content being single.

Apparently I got bored of this though and then this happened:

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Meme clue is all I am saying on that matter. Except…

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There is nothing good about this stage, full stop.

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So to the dark side…Well it’s been a long time since I’ve been there. I used to be a serial monogamist, in that oxymoron way, in that I fell from relationship to relationship, barely having time to register the difference between the guys in question ha.

The trouble being once you’ve gotten used to singledom, relationshipdom seems like a daunting prospect.

But I do have some happy taken friends and they said on…

RELATIONSHIPDOM

“The best thing about being in a relationship is the feeling of knowing that someone loves you and wants to share things with you. You always have someone to talk to or go out with. It is about sharing experiences, good and bad. It’s also for me about having someone to love and look after. It’s about being completely comfortable being yourself around another human.” OK then… that’s from my in-a-relationship friend. I will try not to make any bitter comments

But she did forget…regular sex. Which is definitely the best reason to be in a relationship.

The end game… or MARRIAGEDOM

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I asked one of my only married friends and she said

“Everything :)”

So… there we go. Reasons to be happy, whether you are hairy and stretched out this evening, spooning or indulging in a Bridget Jones moment with a couple of ice cream men.

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