The herbivore who came to tea…

My new year’s resolution is to stop being such a bitch.

No really, I’ve been truly awful recently and there’s no excuse. We can only use old Aunt Flo once a month after all… I may have a solution. It may be the lack of blogging.

Why haven’t I blogged?
A) I got an actual job, got insanely busy and remembered that amongst the paper work, performing like a monkey all day, there is no time for hobbies, writing or doing anything worth blogging about.

B) I got an actual boyfriend who has made blogging about dating awkward.

C) Both the above.

The Summer of Tinder seems such a very long  way away. I’m glad it happened though, something to tell the grandchildren.

Today I had an epiphany. I will become a Food critic (capital F) that would solve all my problems. I would no longer hate my career or long to write AND it would also serve as a yoga for the soul and all my annoyance at the world could come out in bitchy little columns in the Times. Move over A A Gill.

I’d argue the merits of cider over craft beer, sample various types of pigeons, find the new pulled pork and best of all, be paid to eat. Being paid to do one of life’s saving graces. I mean, it’s definitely a better deal than becoming a personal shopper for example, or, you know, a sex worker.

Then I remembered, like the fact I can’t drive, my other big social failing.

I’m veggie.

When you tell someone you’re vegetarian, people either:

Suddenly seem very concerned about your health (since when did anyone ask anyone else about their protein levels, except maybe bodybuilders comparing guns at the gym?)

Decide you are naive, cutesy, into Animals or if you have outgrown the age where pigtails still look sexy, then consider you one of those animal rights nutters, the dating equivalent being a crazy cat lady.

or they yawn and prepare for your inevitable speech on the moral, spiritual and physical reasons for being one.

And there’s always someone who just seems to pity you and your lack of bacon fuelled weekends.

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Having become veggie in my early teens, yes for ethical reasons but no I don’t need to rant about it right now (potential to change this rests with a glass of red), I am used to this kind of behaviour.

A close friend once came over for dinner and exclaimed “Oh so this is what you eat” when presented with mexican fajitas and homemade dips. I was slightly surprised, I thought everyone spent the hour after dinner lamenting their overuse of sour cream and guacamole.

Another person recently chatted to me about being vegetarian and referred to vegetarians against the “normal people”. So there you have it, I am not normal.

I am a herbivore, except I am not a vegan and I do feel a tiny bit guilty about that fact. I also love to eat, another misconception about vegetarians. Yes there are fat vegetarians. We live off cheese, nuts and avocados. And don’t forget the oreo (<– vegan) chocolate.

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Ooh this entire fridge’s contents are “Suitable for Vegetarians”

Bristol is a great city for veggies. Brighton, maybe even better. After having spent a weekend there and indulging in an incredible lunch at Terre a Terre, I am tempted to up sticks and move. However, it also made me consider my own veggie options when out with my more meat loving friends…

The Maitreya Social in Easton is always worth a mention for amazing veggie food, but it’s a train ride away and it is of course, veggie which is great for me and other veggie, vegan friends but perhaps less appealing to others.

Mmmm what to eat ? Halloumi and mushroom burger. Goat’s cheese and mushroom burger. Red pepper and goat’s cheese sandwich. Brie and cranberry sandwich (eugh). Mushroom burger, cheese unknown. Bean burger and Hummus. Hummus and mushroom. And that’s the good places.

Veggie options can be rather bland, so here are some of my fave veggie meals in “normal” restaurants, pubs etc…

Fave burger. When a girl needs more than a half cooked soggy mushroom in a brioche bap…

The Kings Arms, top of Whiteladies.

Menu: Queen burger. It’s big and juicy, full of flavour and includes fat chips.  The beetroot makes this for me and the size. It’s the kind of burger that doesn’t leave you feeling disappointed about not being a meat lover.


Meat Liquor, Stokes Croft

And now a surprising entry… I just came back from the chain, Meat Liquor. Now whilst I am a strict veggie, I liked the other half of the name and my boyfriend had heard about it so we gave it a go. Naturally the veggie options were thin on the ground, but I actually had a surprisingly tasty halloumi burger with a delicious sauce and pickles. Possibly the halloumi was dipped in meat fat, who knows. I shan’t question it. I also shan’t go back, as the beers were 4,00 for a 330 ml can but alas if you are not a liquor lover, go and eat until you are stuffed.

The misspelt graffiti everywhere was also rather offputting, I kept wanting to get my green marking pen out…

The White Bear, Michael’s Hill

Menu: Whatever the veggie burger is called. One of the only veggie burgers I’ve had out that is both breadcrumbed and delicious. A goats cheese breadcrumbed with various accompaniments. With chips for a fiver. On Wednesday. I should have gone there.

To be continued…whilst I go into a cheese-induced coma…

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